if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
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