Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
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