im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
Randomize
