On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
Randomize
