JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
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