So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
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