It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
it's like iHOP with fire
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
Randomize
