So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
I just sent a Slack that autocorrected tomorrow to gonorrhoea. Please note that Slack autocorrect isn’t very good.
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
Randomize
