Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
Randomize
