Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
Randomize
