every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
Randomize
