Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
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