We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
Randomize
