I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
Randomize
