he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
I will pee on everything he values.
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
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