I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Randomize
