When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
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