This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize
