Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
Randomize
