Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
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