So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
It's rum buckets o'clock
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
Randomize
