You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
Randomize
