i always forget guys have bellybuttons
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
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