are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
Bang-toberfest begins!!
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
