the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
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