You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
I can't believe I forgot to wish you a happy 13 week-iversary of the time you raw-dogged a rando. Only two days late, so it still counts. And since your 14 weeks is coming up, you should know that at 14 weeks your baby can squint, frown, grimace, pee, and possibly suck his/her/their/zir thumb!
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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