I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
she peed on how many people?
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
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