porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
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