Who did Billy Mays play for?
it's like iHOP with fire
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
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