Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
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