Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
Randomize
