Rock
Scissors
Fuck
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
Randomize
