dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
Randomize
