Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
Randomize
