All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
Randomize