During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
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