then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
