hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
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