Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
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