break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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