I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize
