If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
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