thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
Randomize
