I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Randomize
