my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
Randomize
