so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
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