I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Randomize
