guys are not supposed to queef...right?
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
Randomize
