It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
Randomize
