Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
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