there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
Randomize
