Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
Randomize
