It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Randomize
