But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
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