Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
Randomize
